When you think about it, the questions you ask can lead you down the path toward the life that you want…or away from it. Asking the “right” questions of ourselves and our clients has a huge impact on the outcome of our own self-improvement efforts and the sessions we have with others.

“Why do I always fail?” has a much different effect than “How do I ensure success?”. Questions that focus on the negative, unwanted outcome only produce answers that help to prove and rationalize the current behavior, while asking questions focused on the positive, desired behavior, opens the mind to new possibilities and resources.

So, how do we know what the “Right” questions are? The answer is really quite simple, we begin by asking questions that identify the positive emotional states that our clients “desire”, then we ask questions about the results they will experience as proof they have reached their goal. We aim for emotional states as the resources necessary to change thoughts. Thoughts then change actions, and actions repeated over time, become new desired behaviors.

It’s often human nature to focus on the negative things in our lives, as opposed to the positive things. This is ok, in moderation, because it helps us to learn what “not” to do, but when it becomes our dominant behavior, it blocks us from seeing opportunities or accessing resource that could change our situation in powerful, positive ways.

The Law of Attraction states “Like Attracts Like”. Other commonly used statements that mean the same thing are “Seek and ye shall find” or “As you sow, so shall you reap”. If we remember this formula “A =>

E” which means “Where Attention goes, Energy flows”. Whatever we pay most of our attention toward, we tend to get more of. What I mean is, if you focus all of your attention on what you don’t want, you’ll tend to get more of what you don’t want. However, if you focus your attention on what you do want, you’ll tend to get more of that as well.

Henry Ford – “Whether You Believe You Can, Or You Can’t, You Are Right”.

Paul J. Meyer – “Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass.”

Make sure that the topic of your enthusiastic focus is a positive one.

Michael C. White, C.Ht.